When people ask how am I doing, I say I’m in therapy. I mean, it’s the truth. I wouldn’t be living the life I am living right now if it wasn’t for therapy. After Cass, my constant worrying became more refined. Like a lot of anxious people, you will often find me lost in my thoughts.
Acceptance’s where I’m at now. I’m no longer running from it instead of I’m using it to fuel me.
Little by little, with lots of ups and downs, I’m freeing myself.
Therapy has helped me put my anxiety into words and get it out.
It has helped me to recognize that human beings are complicated creatures, grief is messy.
You don’t get over, you learn to accept it. Life is going to be full of awful, uncomfortable, and downright painful experiences, for all of us. I’m not alone in this struggle.
Living in the present moment, and fully embracing the experiences that life gives you with gentlest and curiosity.
The goal is really to keep moving, always forward, with acceptance.
Every step I am taking, reading, journaling, exercising, meditating, taking different actions, letting go of unhelpful thoughts and beliefs – is leading me in the right direction because I have chosen the direction.
I have accepted that I cannot change what has already happened. I have accepted life on life’s terms.
Saying yes to life, no matter what it delivers Life is going to keep on right on happening, whether I like it or not.
I’m learning to be more present and intentional. Sometimes it looks like you’re present, but your mind is a thousand miles away.
Being present sounds so simple. After all, where else could I be? But there are so many ways we are not present in our lives. Being present is really existing in the current moment. I’m learning to be more curious about my experiences and allowing them to unfold without judgment.
Being present, rather than being caught up in the past or worrying about the future, remind me daily that good things and good feelings are possible, even in the midst of pain.
Recognizing that my life is more than grief, even if that pain is a big part of it right now. Although The pain is understandable and expected. But my life is also about joy, hope, and pleasure.
Grief has a way of sneaking up on you just when you think it finally settled. I’m here to remind you that whatever your experience is, whatever point or place in time you feel you’re at in your grief, just let it be. Don’t judge or try to change your feelings.
You’re doing it “right”.
Although reflecting on the past to learn from it and looking forward so you can plan the future are both useful, you can only experience the present moment as it is happening.
Human beings are storytellers. We are wired to detect patterns in our experiences and to learn from those patterns. We use stories to make sense of our experiences. We connect with others by sharing the meaning and understanding found in our stories. And the stories you have created about your grief are important stories.
Learning to rewrite and retell my story helps defuse my pain which is critical to moving forward in life.
The phrase “it’s for the best,” is one I hear often. Trust me, I’m sure most people are well-intentioned, and they’re trying to make you feel better. It’s good to be open to hearing other people’s thoughts, but it’s even better to consider whether those thoughts are true or helpful.
It’s okay for other people to hold their own beliefs, just as you hold yours. I bring Cass flowers every time I visit home. White flowers were her favorites, the kind of flowers didn’t matter much as long they were whites.
As I’d already started to figure out in therapy, yoga helped me finally understand that I wasn’t a slave to my thoughts.
Meditation changed my life. I like to have a calm mind. I like being able to fill it with what I desire. Thanks to experience, I’m finally realizing that I cannot be responsible for the happiness of others but my own. I have learned that people are going to talk anyway, you might as well do what makes you happy.
I’ve managed to come a long way. I’m not a little Buddha yet, but I admit that’s kind of my goal.
I would have loved to learn sooner that peace, love, joy, all of it comes from inside, never from the mirror others hold up to us.
Self-love is a journey, it’s not something you work on once and then you’re good, you’re done, you’re got it. It’s something that you have to work on every single day. I love myself now. Self-love means that I have a relationship with myself build on trust and loyalty. I trust myself to have my own back, so my allegiance is to the voice within. I’ll abandon everyone else’s expectations of me before I’ll abandon myself.
I was flipping though my old notes and stumbled on these words ” Your life is unfolding exactly as it is meant to. To be brave is to forsake all others to be true to yourself”.
That is the vow of a confident girl.
I accept my anxiety now. Have you ever had to deal with anxiety? Let’s chat in the comments 🙂
As always, thanks for reading my words.
